weekend sometimes can be pretty sad day...well specially if you've to work:p
which i did for 2weeks in a row (plus every single week days knock off late nite
cant complaint much tho)
anyway, weekend is "a day i hv conversation with my love ones back home"
and it happened this weekend is a "family gathering annual day".
this has been in our family since my granddad still around. hence back then, we've every month "get-to-gether" with bbq and backyard camp. it's really cool event.
but now only once a year as most of us hv other commitments (note: this gathering do not count during festive)
and yesterday all my nieces and nephews (my bro's and also my others cousin's kids) got turn to talk to me, (it's pretty much cost their parents money) but it melts my heart to just hear every each one of them talking, some stories i cant really keep-up with and relate to and for some are just silent only hear their breathing...which is cutesy:O)
reminds me, whenever we've family trip. my car will be full of them and sometimes i've to drive the biggest one and we're gonna be the last reaching destination prior to so many detour and stop. stop at gas station for "pom pee pee" or "pom poo poo", stop to buy some snacks, stop to eat ice-cream and one time even stop cos one of them forgot that he left his ultraman in his parent car, and we're all searching like crazy for that "plastic ultraman"...am miss that, i miss them
the eldest nephew is now 13 years old, gettin handsomer, smarter,very independent and still travelling back-forth on his own (he's been travelling alone since the age of 6 for-to his divorced parent who's living each in other parts of the ocean. poor child)
and the youngest happen to be a boy too. 2 years old,which by now struggling to understand himself;D
(note: he's the one who eager wanna speak to me but once he held the phone. just plain silent, i was like....hey...low, adam "in a sponge bob voicey" just to get him talking;)
kids...they're never can do wrong in my eyes...
a fresh conversation.
as both are malaysian, him, chinese peranakan and me, malay+indian
we kinda realised that we shared same thoughts and concerns
which is the only reason we're both end-up here. frustrated.
as for me. (note: i have one too many reasons in facts) and another is to experience how does it feel to be minority.
anyway, that conversation lead me to understand something. really important.
how frustrating will one be, knowing that he or she in denial to feel at home where we were born and raised. just imagine you arent right where you belong
but then again, no matter what am experience here isnt gonna be the same
cos i wasnt born here...so, it clearly justifies if am in denial of my rights.
as for malay malaysian, we are
1) too pampered, gettin use to be spoon fed and baby-sitting
2) lack of confidence either self or race
3) afraid of our own shadow...we seems dont want our shadow to lead us...
trust me. "you can only be the best when you're among the best".
when you're competing with the best competitor.
you know that you're playing it clean.
and if you win. you earn the best prize. respect.
sometimes being among your"own kind" is just too tiring.
but then again. who am i to say this.
am a runaway frustrated who only capable of writing junkies.
and plus, doesnt belong to any of that kind.
(p/s: JPL. noted. both are m-a-l-a-y-s-i-a-n-s)
"sometimes you need to be more aggressive to want something that you really want
unless you dont really want what you want
maybe you feel that is not what you really want
cos you dont realise that is what you want..."
am not really sure what is this guy want
either "the gold" or "the mannequin"
he seems in "pretty deep thought" to decide
and as my late uncle adores Hendrix very much...i've remembered JM did cover version of "wait till tomorrow"
so, to all you guys who appreciates "REAL MUSICS" link yourself here
no offense. Hendrix is a legend. But Mayer is just fucking sexy with his chord. listen @ 3:10/4:14.
tho he's a womaniser...but with finger like that, he can has all the ladies in the world on his feet...
oh...shoot! better call my bro & checking whom my uncle left his classic guitar to
Again lost in battling cancer. Family’s treasure.
Am seldom sees him as he himself kinda explorer and world's traveller. Only once a year. To give his nieces & nephews world’s money (sometimes we dont even recognised which country's) and telling his stories:O) He's amazing uncle, very patience, talkative and always the coolest.
Free spirited guy. Long haired. No wife. No kids. Just him. No drugs. Heavy smoker and hard-core coffee drinker(guess this the reasons being). No real job. Maybe diving instructor, maybe golf caddy, maybe mountainer guide…maybe just doing anything that he loves. Maybe Environmentalist too. Not a capitalist. No home. No car. No handphone. But I know he’s nice guy. He just choosen a different life.