"Tea Room Talk: Either be self destructive or be optimistic"

It’s raining. Every other day and sometimes at night. I love raining but unfortunately, am falling sick.  Am having cold and getting bit worse lately. Can't sleep either. Even my boss told me to see a doctor and get well .
(I get it Boss, we do have datelines, no worries. Appreciate your thoughtfulness ;O)

The thing is, I may sound shallow and ridiculous but the last time I went to see a doctor, they found tumor on my breast. Tho the treatment is not so scary but still, it involved emotional roller coaster for me. I just feel, if it is your time to go, you go. If we don’t know, we just go thru our lives, as happily as can be. Once, we know, we probably stop living. My father was physically active man. He was 3 times Marathon Champion and got to keep the winning Trophy. He loves driving his car, gardening, reading and Beatles. He never been sick. No heart problem, no high blood, no kidney problem, no diabetes, seldom have flu & fever. Healthy. 
But the day that he’d been diagnosed with cancer, 
he stop living. He don’t even bother to fight his war. He surrender while he was still inside his Castle.

Yet, the most valuable lesson I’ve learnt after his passing. You, either be self destructive or be optimistic about your life and its’ consequences. I, try the very best to be optimistic. My life may not be happy and well all the times, without much choices given, you have to make the best out of it. Perhaps if unable to be the greatest fighter, at least brave enough to be in a front line. Hence, will still considering my option to pay doctor a visit tho;D
Honestly, Doctors here are not my favourite person. I say, lack of human touch. You’ve to wait for 4 hrs and they only consult you for 5 mins. Don’t care to ask anything else other than what is your sickness!?! Should start with, How's your day? and end with, Enjoy the rest of your day...or Hope you feel much better by end of this day. Those warm words...

(Mental note: Do you think raining, other than bring nice feeling also melancholy?)